2016-2017
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My junior year was a year of growth, reassurance, and confidence. It was an incredibly rewarding year. I was invited to present at several research conferences, became a published scientific author, won a nationally competitive award, was inducted into Phi Beta Kappa and Sigma Pi Sigma honorary societies, nominated for an Outstanding Tutor Award, and offered a summer research position at SLAC National Accelerator Laboratory in Palo Alto, California. It was fulfilling to be recognized and appreciated for my efforts, and encouraged me to keep working harder to accomplish my goals.
A passion I identified this year was for research. From the beginning of my college career I knew I wanted to conduct research—this was the year I finally became involved. During summer 2016 I participated in the WISE summer research program. In 12 weeks I learned more physics than I had in two years of classes, and was able to immediately apply my knowledge to research questions. The summer program was incredibly productive, and my research group was able to write three papers based on my findings from the summer. All of these papers were accepted for publication by the Journal of High Energy Physics. I also had the opportunity to present this research as a poster or invited talk at five undergraduate conferences throughout the year, including two national conferences, and won best poster awards at three of the events.
Another significant aspect of finally dedicating time to research was applying for and winning the Barry Goldwater Scholarship. When I applied for this scholarship I thought my chances of winning were slim; I believed my contributions to my research group’s project were trivial. However, throughout the application process I learned to distinguish my contributions to collaborative projects and write about my research. During the application process I had hopes of winning, but was afraid of setting my goals and expectations too high. When I received the notification of my selection for the scholarship, I was shocked and thrilled. A year before I won the Goldwater Scholarship I was still unsure I could pursue a career in physics research. Now I am confident I have the skills and tenacity to be a successful member of the scientific community.
After winning the scholarship I immediately realized that I must always dream bigger than I think I can achieve, continue to work hard toward those dreams, and always trust the advice and encouragement my mentors offer. These are the pieces of advice I have for myself in the upcoming year. Soon I will be applying to graduate school and for graduate fellowships. I will need to make many life-changing decisions soon, and to be honest I am still not confident I can obtain my loftiest dreams. But as I learn to value my contributions to science and my own skills, I will continue to tell myself, “let yourself dream, keep your focus, trust your mentors”.
This year was also one of the first times I have severely struggled with imposter syndrome, the belief that you are not good enough for opportunities you receive. I had heard of people, particularly women in STEM, struggling with these feelings, but I had never experienced it myself. As I gained success and received attention throughout this year, I often caught myself thinking things such as, “If I weren’t a woman and also an ethnic minority I would not be receiving these distinctions solely on the merit of my work”. Struggling with these harmful and untrue thoughts has reminded me of the importance of role models and mentors for minority students. Because of this experience I have become even more determined to foster relationships with young women scientists and act as a role model through science outreach events.
Most importantly, as I venture ever closer to the next chapter of my life and education, I plan to be loudly me wherever I go and whatever I choose to do. This year I recognized I can contribute to the world through science, education, and relationships. I am still learning about who I am and where I want to go, but I have decided I cannot reduce myself to merely one aspect. I will not settle for a generic path laid before me, but will keep searching for my niche. If I cannot find it I will create it. Thus far I have pursued multiple passions and created ways to intertwine and merge them; as this year’s success as shown, I must be doing something right!
2015-2016
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This year was absolutely full to the brim with new responsibilities, opportunities, adventures, and physics problems. There were countless times I thought I had taken on more than I could carry. Yet, to my surprise and excitement, my mind and life expanded to hold each new skill and memory. Even in my failures, when a little bit of my workload sloshed out of the bucket, I learned to be gracious with myself and grow from the situation. Throughout this year I grew academically, socially, professionally, and as a global citizen while I worked, studied, and traveled.
The first semester of this year was incredibly challenging. I took more difficult classes, worked harder and more hours, stepped into leadership positions in more student organizations, and prepared to study abroad in the spring semester. Yet I survived! By pushing myself to the limits, I learned my capacity for success is greater than I ever expected. However, I also learned the dangers of overworking myself and am now careful to monitor my workload to avoid burning out.
My second semester made up for all the times I thought I would never survive the first. I studied at University College Cork in Cork, Ireland taking 15 credit hours and traveling on the weekends. It was the adventure of a lifetime and unbelievably fulfilling to savor the fruits of my labor. Studying in a non-American system enriched my understanding of academia. Learning from foreign professors in that unfamiliar climate showed me a strong academic network’s importance. Being immersed in another culture made me a better global citizen by teaching me to see all sides of a story. Traveling shoved me out of my social comfort zone to grow socially while gaining myriad international friends in the process.
As I transition from one year to the next, I am similarly shifting goals. Having accomplished last year’s goal to study abroad, my goal for the coming year is to dive into research in preparation for graduation and beyond. In fact, while writing this reflection I am already halfway finished with a 12-week theoretical physics project through the Women in Science and Engineering (WISE) experience. This summer program has already changed how I think about and plan for my future, but I will save those reflections for my next Year-In-Review.
My other goal I have doubles as the piece of advice I want to give myself for this year: Take chances, make mistakes, and get messy! Admittedly this motto was stolen from Ms. Frizzle (my new apartment does not have wifi and I have consequently been binge-watching The Magic School Bus on DVD), yet I cannot think of a better theme for my third year at UC. This year I will begin researching graduate schools, advance in my job at the Learning Assistance Center, and also apply for at least one Nationally Competitive Award. As these opportunities, which once seemed so far from the horizon, quickly begin to dawn, I do not want to let fear keep me from taking important risks. Furthermore, to balance the gravity of these upcoming decisions, I want to remain lighthearted and enjoy the second half of my time at UC.
This year I worked hard, played hard, and ended up with countless memories that will last a lifetime, as well as a more solid self-identity. Although it seems impossible to top a semester abroad, I am filled with pure enthusiasm as I look forward to my junior year at UC. Fantastic and exhilarating opportunities lay ahead of me, and I am keen to see where they will lead me.
2014-2015
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Wowza, just like that my first year at the University of Cincinnati is over. With ten months of dorm life, 34 credit hours, dozens of extracurricular meetings, one new job, hundreds of math and physics problems, and countless hours of laughter with new friends under my belt, I am amazed at how inadequately numbers quantify my freshman experience. It still feels somewhat unreal how much I have grown to love this campus, community, and city. This year I learned a lot about myself academically, formed some significant relationships and connections, further refined my goals for the near and distant future, and am just too excited to not share a little bit about it all.
One of the first things I must make known is that I am a perfectionist. My entire academic life I have struggled to balance a desire for academic excellence and grace for myself when I fail to meet my own expectations. As one could imagine, my freshman year was the most academically challenging I have yet encountered and many times this year I received a test or project grade that was not poor, but also was not perfect. These repeated occurrences forced me to realize it is okay to want perfection and to be disappointed if I did not do as well as I had hoped, but that it is NOT okay expect perfection and to allow frustration or fallacious feelings of inadequacy to interfere with my self worth and present performance. While it is a continual process to accept and live these realizations, I am proud of the progress I made this year.
In other news, second semester I was hired as a peer tutor at the Learning Assistance Center for physics and math. With this job I have begun forming relationships with the University’s peer education network. I hope to develop these connections as a means of pursuing my passion for education through possible future Supplemental Instruction or Learning Assistant positions. This position as a peer tutor has affirmed my love and gift for sharing knowledge with others, and has been an incredibly positive addition to my life on campus.
Moving forward, I have set the goal to travel abroad this coming year. Currently I am planning a semester in Cork, Ireland, and will begin the application process in the fall. I have always desired to explore Europe and am looking forward to the opportunity to experience first hand some of the culture I have studied throughout the years. Hopefully I will use my semester abroad as a global studies honors experience.
I came to UC absolutely certain I would earn my undergraduate degree in astrophysics, attend graduate school for astronomy, and eventually become a researcher. However, this year I discovered I like to teach more than I like research, and am more interested in pursuing a graduate degree in teaching or some type of engineering. I plan to continue keeping my mind open and pursuing a broad range of academic projects to clarify my true passion. I do not want to settle for the sake of a five-year plan; I want to find what I actually love and do that.
Although I am sure much of the growth I experienced this year was a direct result of living on my own in a foreign climate, I also strongly believe many of the opportunities I encountered were uniquely provided by UC, a fact that truly affirms my decision to attend and invest in this outstanding university. I am eager to begin another year in the Queen City at the Hottest College in America!